


Habiliments of the Grave

by emarosa



Series: all the fear and the fire [2]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dystopia, Established Relationship, M/M, Past Brainwashing, Past Torture, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, Rebellion, War
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-21
Updated: 2019-08-21
Packaged: 2020-09-23 14:43:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20341822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emarosa/pseuds/emarosa
Summary: Sequel to Nevermore-One year after Alec has escaped the control of the Doves, he struggles to find his place among the rebels that house him. He doesn't fit in anywhere, with many finding it hard to look past the fact he was a ruthless killer for the Clave. As a civil war begins to ramp up, he is forced to reflect on what matters most to him in life.





	Habiliments of the Grave

Alec could feel the itch under his skin forming from his restlessness. Activity buzzed and milled around him like a swarm of bees. Yet, he was sat in front of a computer screen, sidelined from the action. 

He should be used to this by now. No one trusted him, why should they? Of course he was better off punching inventory numbers into a spreadsheet, helping write-up mission reports, summarize files stolen from the Clave database. He should not be focused on the people preparing for the raid on the New York Institute. That didn't pertain to him, not in the slightest bit. 

He was distracted from his thoughts by a pen smacking him square in the face. 

"What, Brooklyn?" Alec asked disinterestedly. 

His best friend, sat at the computer next to him, was aggressively spinning his chair in circles. If he kept that up, he would break the third chair this month. 

"I have an idea," Brook replied, ceasing his spinning abruptly by sticking his leg out and catching it on Alec. "I say we find a way to go on the raid."

"That's never going to happen."

"Which is stupid, because we know the layout of that place like the back of our hands. It's not like we lived there for four years or anything."

The conversation was interrupted by Ethan strolling over to them, reading something off a clipboard in his hands. The rebel leader looked surprisingly calm despite what was about to go down. 

Ethan looked up from the clipboard, letting it rest on his hip. "You're not going on the raid, and I really don't want to have this conversation again."

"But babe," Brooklyn whined, dragging out the 'e,' "how am I supposed to keep you safe if I'm back here while you're out there?"

There was a pinched look on Ethan's face as he resisted the puppy dog eyes being sent his way. "I already told you, Oaklyn, I don't think it's good for you to be there. Returning to a site of trauma in the heat of battle-"

"Stop making this about my PTSD!" 

Alec felt like he had never been apart of this conversation to begin with, but was now strongly feeling like an awkward third wheel to a private conversation. This was typically how it went with Ethan and Brooklyn, who seemed to be constantly blind to Alec's presence. 

Brook continued, "just admit that this is because no one here trusts us, and I won't push it anymore."

"I trust you," Ethan countered, "and I'm trying to protect you, not hurt you."

Alec pretended to focus at something on his computer screen, picking up the pen that had been chucked at his face earlier and acting like he was writing something important down. 

"If you don't want to hurt me then don't hold me back from trying to bring the people that tortured me to justice!" 

At the word 'torture,' Ethan looked like he had been slapped in the face. Alec quickly turned his attention back to his computer screen, but Ethan had already caught on to his eye contact.

"Alec, do you think it's a good idea for you both to go on this raid?"

Of course they had to drag him into this. He could never mind his own business when it came to their relationship. Speaking of relationships, where was Magnus? He really wanted to be saved by him right about now.

"I, uh..." Alec turned to look between them both, already knowing whose side he was going to take. "I think it's unwise to not include us."

"Fine!" Ethan relented. "Sorry that I care so much about your well-being."

As he stormed away, Alec slowly turned in his chair to face Brooklyn, who looked more dejected about being put on the mission than he should have. 

"He just doesn't want them to hurt you again," Alec said. 

"You say that like I still don't hurt because of them."

-

Magnus helped Catarina stock the medical go-bags, calling out inventory numbers as he went for Simon to jot down.

"How many rolls of gauze is too many rolls of gauze?" he asked. 

Cat snorted, "you can never have too much of the stuff. Over-prepare, never under-prepare."

This raid had been a long time coming. They were teaming up with rebels from the surrounding states, hoping to throw the Institute off-guard with the extra manpower. They knew the rebels were there now, but they didn't know how many, and it was their best play at the moment. 

The rebellion had grown significantly over the last few months. Much of it was due to the fact that they leaked all of their data on Project Instinct and the memory-manipulating serum to all major news sources. People didn't like the idea of their government performing human experimentation on innocent souls. 

In retaliation, the Clave had pulled all Ravens from the streets, locking them all away Angel knows where. The resistance had a goal of trying to free as many Ravens as possible to reunite them with their families, but that was hard to do when they were impossible to get at.

Magnus was eternally grateful that they had gotten to Alec when they did, convincing him to return back to their base of operations after the first ambush on the New York Institute. He never would've come had it not been for Brooklyn, but it was a miracle he had. Otherwise, Magnus never would've gotten the chance to get close with the older Lightwood, whom he was fairly certain was Magnus' soulmate. 

Things weren't perfect between them, but no relationship ever was. Alec, while working through his trauma, had grown eloquently as a person. While he was still weary around many, he was no longer the skittish victim to the Clave's wrongdoings. He was a survivor, with a selfless heart that still believed there was good to be done in the world. 

A heart of gold that Magnus fell more and more in love with every day. It was for that reason he was glad that Alexander would be sitting out on the raid, because while what had happened to Alec had done a number, it hadn't broken his spirit. It was his worst fear that the Clave would get their cold hands on him once more, inflicting unimaginable levels of damage to finish the job. 


End file.
